That does not mean shaming or scratching off lower-income partners, by the way. After all, few spouses make exactly the same amount of money. It just means acknowledging each other's financial realities, and calibrating your expectations accordingly.
Having learned her lesson, for instance, Leslie Tayne in Long Island has taken a different tack in her current relationship.
"We were very upfront, and disclosed everything right away," she says. "It makes a huge difference."