3. Find a real partner. It is important that you find a partner, or partners, whose priorities align with yours and who are willing to communicate openly about how to work cooperatively toward shared goals.

4. Find out what works for you and ask for it.

After my second child Alex was born, I took 15 months off while I contemplated a change in career from trading to investment management. I devised a job-share arrangement with my employer at the time, where two of us shared the same investment management clientele—the first of its kind at that firm. At another time, I negotiated a flex-time arrangement so I could pick the children up from school.

Part of what we need to do is bust through the frustrating societal myth of women being able to “do it all.” Anecdotal evidence suggests a changing tide among our younger set—the attitude that men today are more interested in finding balance. One example is the wider acceptance of parental leave for new dads. We need to band together, support each other and change the accepted “normal” for professional women—and men.

Giving Back

Giving back is important because it connects us with others and our community. It’s generally something we are introduced to early in life, often from experiences like picking an angel off the holiday angel tree with our parents. When we give back—whether it’s through time or money—we can also gain an important perspective about our own life situations and, at the end of the day, feel like we get more back than what we gave.

Finding causes to give to is easy, but finding the time in our busy lives is hard. My suggestion is that you pick something that fits into your life as it is now. For example, if you have children, get involved in their activities, such as sports and Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts. Drive carpool once a week or month. My daughter was a gymnast. This was my favorite carpool of all. Our gymnastics carpool moms included a physician, a Ph.D., a concert mistress and a rocket scientist!

I also recommend participating in a professional organization. Learn about needs in the community. It may have leadership training programs that provide an overview of community needs and some board training. Use these opportunities to learn about board service and for introductions or for board placement. If you participate and add value to an organization, word will get out about you and you will be sought after to contribute to other organizations.

Achieving Financial Independence

Financial independence—what does it mean? One definition is having the ability to make a decision independent of the financial impact. The question becomes: who has the ball?