The cost of setting up a trust with an estate attorney will depend on how much money is invested, and ongoing professional money management will cost an annual fee of around 1 percent of assets.
Allow A Little Splurge
For Tim Noonan, managing director of capital market insights for Russell Investments in Seattle, Washington, the key to his financial parenting was instilling a sense of mystery about the power of money. The message: "Money is a magical tool, but it will turn against you if you do the wrong thing."
While he doesn't expect his daughter to get a lot of cash gifts when she graduates this month, he was willing to shell out for a celebratory present. She asked for a party for all her friends, which he was happy to do because she already has a job lined up.
Totenberg, the New York City mom, is expecting her daughter to be responsible but also allowing for fun. "She may buy some shoes or some ridiculous gift pack from Sephora that is all pretty packaging - something she knows I'll never buy for her," she says.
Direct Gifts From Family Members
One stealth way to maintain a little control over funds is to direct family members toward appropriate non-cash gifts. This is what Kirchenbauer, whose son has the $60,000 college fund, is doing when family members ask what her son would like for graduation. To one she suggested a set of luggage, to another a suit, and to a third a laptop.
"My mom is just writing a check," she said, which she hopes her son will put in a savings account.