This problem plays out in so many ways with our other clients, which is why it’s so important to pay attention and ask more backdrop questions to improve their retirement transitions.
Another client of mine was a woman who sold her big beautiful house a couple of years ago after her husband passed away. She was unsure what she wanted to do or where she wanted to live, so she opted to rent a nice condo in a new development. Then a new landlord prompted her to seek other options.
She started looking for homes, but got sticker shock and couldn’t find anything that fit her taste. She was quick to jump into the numbers, asking me about different situations and possible scenarios. After a few minutes, I stopped her and asked, “What if we put you first, and then figured out the money stuff later?
“For example,” I continued, “what’s most important to you about where you live right now?” She said she liked her neighbors, appreciated the fact that she didn’t have to worry about the furnace or hot water tank going on and needing to find someone to fix it, and that her friends were close by.
Next we talked about what she didn’t like, which was that she didn’t feel as if she could put her stamp on the rented condo. I asked her what she wanted to do specifically. She wanted the kitchen painted, new hardware on her kitchen cabinets and a bathroom with more stylish light fixtures and vanity.
I asked her if she knew someone like a handyman who did painting and that kind of bathroom and cabinet work. She did—there was a guy the condo association recommended for residents. I suggested that she ask him to come over and give her a quote for the work.
I’m sure you can see where this is going. She got the quote, shared it with the new landlord, and they agreed to split the cost of the work. She didn’t have to trudge through a new home purchase, pack up and move, add more worries or move further away from her supporting cast. The tone and direction of the meeting and her life could have been very different right now. The backdrop was important to the story.
There are myriad other examples, but the main thing I want to get across to advisors is this: Just like a good play transports you into another world and other lives, you need to be transported into the play that is the personal life and situations of your clients. You need to get swept up into the background of their lives and understand that the scenes, lighting and music will change. Sometimes it may be bright and cheery while others times it’s dark and somber.
The final act for clients’ lives hasn’t been written yet, and you have a front-row seat to not only watch it unfold but also to help direct it, set the stage and create the conditions for their best performance. But in order to do that, you have to adjust your seat and be willing to look at more than who is center stage in the show. That’s how you and your clients will get that standing ovation we all want and deserve.
Robert Laura is a best-selling author, nationally syndicated columnist and the president of Wealth & Wellness Group. He is a seasoned conference speaker, corporate trainer and founder of the Certified Professional Retirement Coach designation, which focuses on the non-financial aspects of life after work. He can be reached at [email protected].