How Clients Can Care For Two Parents At Once Without Going Broke

Have The Talk

With the holidays right around the corner, it is one of the few times of year when far-flung families tend to gather in one place. Don't let the opportunity slip by to discuss your parents' expectations, should illness arrive. Find out if they have advance directives - documents that spell out what treatment they would and would not want during a life-threatening health crisis. Make sure you establish who has power of attorney, should they need someone to make important decisions.

"It's the perfect time to have this kind of conversation," says Kamilah Williams-Kemp, Northwestern Mutual's vice president of long-term care. Her spouse's grandmother lived to 102, and her mother-in-law has been diagnosed with Parkinson's.

Consider A Reverse Mortgage

Reverse mortgages allow homeowners aged 62 and above to borrow against their home equity and to receive either a lump sum, a series of monthly checks or a line of credit that can be tapped as needed. The upside of a reverse mortgage? With the bank paying you every month, instead of the other way around, that check can help cover costs for in-home caregivers.

Tom Davison, a financial planner in Columbus, Ohio, is working with a 90-year-old woman whose daughter moved in with her as a caregiver. "A reverse mortgage could help (the daughter) pay her the wages she has given up," Davison said.

The downside, of course: The family home will eventually become property of the bank.

Get Help

Your first instinct as a child may be to drop everything and handle all your parents' needs yourself. But if it comes at the cost of your own career, think about the ripple effects - on your retirement savings, on the needs of your own kids, even on your own sanity.

With Americans extending their lifespan - 76.4 years for men, 81.2 years for women, according to the National Center for Health Statistics - this is a family challenge that won't be going away anytime soon.

Denver financial planner Kristi Sullivan recommends hiring a case manager to do the heavy lifting.

"For an hourly fee, these people can handle tasks quickly that it might take you hours to do - scheduling doctor's appointments, handling medical payments and dealing with insurance, helping find a good nursing home or in-home care," Sullivan says. "Spending this money may seem expensive, but it's less than putting someone's career on hold to become a full-time caregiver."