You have wealthy friends who could be great clients. You sincerely feel you could help them. The big question is how do you make the connection, bringing up business without making them feel awkward?

When I was doing research prior to writing my book Captivating the Wealthy Investor, I thought the logical way to answer this question was to ask the HNW individuals themselves. They are constantly “hit on” for business from all directions. How would they prefer to be approached, especially if they know the advisor on a social level?

1. What do you do? How can you help? The first step towards getting a HNW friend or relative as a client is making them aware of what you do. They may have a general idea, since they know your profession, but it is unlikely they understand the full range of your services.
Approach: One of the easiest ways to tell your story is to sit down and ask them to tell their story. What do they do? Take a sincere interest. People like talking about themselves. Years ago, I heard a financial planner would suggest the question: “When you tell others about me, what do you say that I do?” They might give a basic reply, providing the opening for you to explain in detail.

2. Gently persistent, patient. Obviously, they do not want to feel pressured. It’s fine to make them aware of what you do, which you have done in that earlier one-on-one conversation. It is unrealistic to expect people to have total recall. They might forget the nuances of how you help people. Little reminders can help.
Approach: When your paths cross, they might ask: “How’s business?” Reword their question in your mind as “How have you helped someone recently?” This might be an anonymous story or it might simply be: “This is the time of year I need to help people get their tax documentation in a timely manner.” They may be waiting for this stuff from their current advisor.

3. Willingness to be thoughtful. HNW individuals know when they are being cultivated. Charities do it well. They want to feel there is a personal relationship instead of being considered a wallet with legs. That latter expression means they are cultivated up until they commit, then the attention disappears as other prospects are cultivated.
Approach: Remember details. Get the message across that you care about them as a person. You have interests in common or shared values. Remember the names of their children, who is applying to what college and who has been in the hospital.

4. Reintroduced through a peer. This HNW individual knows what you do, but they do not know if you are any good. They need some third-party reinforcement. A financial advisor in Northern California would ask new clients “Why did you choose me?” One fellow said: “I needed to find a good advisor. I asked around. Yours is the only name that came up twice.”
Approach: Your friends travel in circles. Some are separate, other circles overlap. Do your friends know what you do? Do your clients know how you have helped them? The “How’s business?” strategy mentioned above is a good way to remind them through drip marketing.

5. They want an established basis of trust. People are either known or unknown quantities. Friends are known quantities because you have spent time together and been in different situations. One of those HNW individuals mentioned: “One way to get an idea about a person’s ethics, is to play a round of golf with them.” One of the core elements of trust is confidentiality.
Approach: Do you talk about your clients? No. Do your clients and friends know this fact? Maybe not. From time to time you might mention to clients you are bound by strict rules. If you are doing a great job for that client, you cannot tell anyone because you are bound by confidentiality. The client is not bound by the same rule. If you are doing a good job for them, they can tell as many people as they like. You encourage it.

6. Satisfying a need. A bank president frankly admitted: “When I attend an event, I realize I am everyone’s ideal prospect. What I cannot stand is someone who starts a conversation and wants to take me out to lunch to address my needs. We just met. He has no idea what my needs are, so how could he address them?”
Approach: That bank president spelled out his preferred approach: “If someone has done some research beforehand, identified a need, let me know and then suggested lunch, I am intrigued. They put the effort into finding a need. I am curious what their solution might be.”

7. Be reactive. No one says, “reactive.” They say: “Don’t call us, we will call you.” Another way of putting it is: “Be there when I need you.”
Approach: You do not want to be pushy, but it’s OK to stay top of mind. This can often mean traveling in the same social circles and being a familiar face. They have made the connection between you and your profession. Woody Allen had a great observation: “80% of success is showing up.” Travel in the right circles.

You can conform to the unofficial rules HNW individuals set for cultivation. The key to success is having a wide network.

Bryce Sanders is president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition training for the financial services industry. His book Captivating the Wealthy Investor is available on Amazon.