Regardless of your time in the industry, you consider some people off limits. They are close relatives, friends from your previous job or people you know living on a different social tier. You don’t ask them for business because you have history. What can you do?
What’s the big deal? We are afraid they will say: “We’ve known each other for years—Why are you asking me now?” We also worry the close friendship you have means you aren’t considered a real professional. There seem to be lots of reasons that don’t make sense when you say them out loud.
Take a different approach: “Everyone should have the opportunity to say no.” Don’t make the decision for them.
Here’s an even more compelling reason: They know what you do. They’ve “tried you on for size,” asking themselves if they would do business with you. Often the answer is yes! They’ve arrived at their answer, but you haven’t asked the question yet.
1. The risk is the reason. Often we don’t ask because of the risk to the friendship. A good approach is to make that the reason you are talking. You might make the following points: We’ve known each other for (X) years. You know where I work and what I do. I’ve never brought up business because you are a good friend and I value our relationship. I would never want to put that at risk. Besides, I’ve always assumed you work with someone else already. They probably take good care of you and give you excellent service. Successful people usually have that kind of relationship with their advisor. I thought we might spend a few minutes talking about “what I do…”
2. The third party approach. This ties into the above conversation. The friend might have said: “Actually I don’t know my advisor. What can you do for me?” Assuming they don’t, you can talk about “what I do…” The rationale is they may know someone who doesn’t have the great relationship with a financial advisor (that you just assumed they had) and if that someone had a problem, they would know how you might be able to help. Putting “help” in a third party context makes the conversation easier.
3. You can’t fire friends. They worry about something going wrong, a big blow up and now they’ve lost both an advisor and a friend. I like to introduce the following concept: “If we work together, you should get a report card. If I’m doing a lousy job, you should be able to fire me.” The periodic reviews you do are the report cards. Clients like accountability, but you have done something else too! You have outlined an exit strategy. If things aren’t going well, they can unwind the relationship. They don’t need to feel guilty, because it was your idea.
4. You just want my account. I came across an experienced advisor who played squash regularly with a fashion industry executive for years. He never asked for business because he thought the guy would say: “You just wanted my account!” The longevity of the relationship should dispel that risk and it’s fair to assume the executive knows the advisor is good at their job, because they’ve been doing it for so long. Everyone should have the opportunity to say no.
5. Wearing different hats. This strategy is a good approach for the above situation. You wear many hats. One is your friend hat, another is your advisor hat. Sit down with them and explain you are taking off your friend hat for a few minutes and putting on your advisor hat. Define the time limit in advance. When you are done, explain the advisor hat is coming off and the friend hat is going back on.
6. Establish yourself as the alternative. I heard this used in connection to the food service industry. When a fellow who sold chicken parts met a restaurant owner socially he would say: “I’m sure you are happy with your current suppliers. Here’s my card. If anything ever changes, please give me a call.” You could see how that approach could be easily adapted by changing a few words.