In a recent Between Now and Success podcast, best-selling author and researcher Sean Young told me behavior change is not about a lack of knowledge, it’s about getting the process right.
“Conventional wisdom teaches us that if we don't stick with things it's because there's something wrong with us as individuals,” said Sean. “If people aren't exercising, if people aren't following their hobbies or things they want to do, we're typically taught it's because they're not educated or motivated enough. Not only does that make us feel bad about ourselves, but it's actually the wrong science.”
Sean’s new book, Stick with It: A Scientifically Proven Process for Changing Your Life-for Good, outlines the real science behind behavior change. The book is rooted in Sean’s work as the executive director of the University of California Institute for Prediction Technology and the UCLA Center for Digital Behavior, as well as decades of additional psychological and scientific research on behavioral patterns.
From all that science, and his life experiences, Sean has learned “that it's really about changing the process of how we do things and just making tweaks to our own behavior and our own life. If we do that with the correct science, with the correct psychology, then we can get ourselves and others to stick with things we want to do.”
Sounds easy, right?
Step 1: Know Your ABCs
It all starts with knowing your ABCs—that is, identifying the type of behavior you want to change, and applying the correct “forces” to change it.
“A behaviors are automatic,” explains Sean, “things that are done automatically without us being aware that we're doing them. For example, if we're having a conversation and I'm interrupting you and I don't realize it, that's an A behavior. It's an automatic behavior. It happens without my awareness.”
B behaviors are “burning behaviors,” things we do that we’re aware of, but that we just can’t bring ourselves to stop doing: that impulse to reach for your phone every time it buzzes; digging into the candy bowl when you’re not even hungry; splurging on an online purchase without thinking about it. “The way most people talk about addiction, 'I feel like I'm addicted to this, I feel like nothing's going to stop me from doing this,' those are usually burning behaviors,” said Sean.
C behaviors are “common behaviors,” and, as the name implies, they are the most common of all behaviors. There’s often some underlying motivation behind the behavior, but then we get sidetracked. “For example, I want to be able to exercise, I want to be able to go out and recruit more clients for my business, but I have other work that I have to get done, or an email came up,” said Sean. “I'm aware of what I want to do and should be doing, but other things come up."