For example, gone are my work commute, breakfast and lunch at the office, dry cleaning, etc. It costs money anytime you step into a gym, or on to a golf course or tennis court; take a lesson and that’s extra. Gone too are our Friday date nights, dinners out and the occasional show, concert, theater or stand-up comedian. Saturday nights used to be dinner with friends, family, etc. No longer. My small boat is sitting unused, saving on gas and other expenses. Gone too are the occasional weekend brunch and vacation plans are out. It adds up.

But even when I was spending more, my formula was simple: Spend less than you make, preferably much less. It is a mistake to focus on absolute spending as opposed to spending relative to earnings and savings. This is what so many spending scolds get wrong.

I pay off the credit cards in full each month, prepay my 3.99% mortgage, max out my 401(k), have other stock and bond investments. I live well within my means, invest smartly and carry almost no debt other than a mortgage. And even if I sometimes spend what appears to be a lot of money on fun or nonsense, it is all well within what I can afford.

Avoid the hedonic treadmill and you will be much better off. That said, no one on their deathbed looks back and says, “Boy, am I glad I did not buy that sailboat in my 60s.” More people rue what they didn’t do than what they did.

NK: The irony is that you’re a good example of the mindful consumption I’m advocating. You focus your spending on the things and experiences you find meaningful, and you spend much less than you make, all of which allows you to save and pursue the big things. In my experience, you’re the vast exception.

BR:  Let’s bring this back to my biggest issue with frugality, and that’s mental bandwidth.

Will power is finite. Constantly tracking every last cent is mentally exhausting, and as we learned with the Stanford Marshmallow experiment and delayed gratification has a real cost.

We have a household budget, and we track all of the big things: Mortgages, taxes, utilities, cars, vacation and all of the repeating costs. I appreciate that it is a luxury to not spend all my attention on smaller, day-to-day costs.

NK: But let’s not forget the other side. Owning lots of toys and trying to maintain a free-spending lifestyle can also be exhausting. The trick, of course, is to find the balance. This shutdown is forcing everyone to momentarily lead a simpler life. Perhaps some will discover it’s an improvement.

BR: I hear what you say, but I'd like to would wrap up with this reminder: Spend what you want, but preferably on experiences rather than stuff. But there is no reason not to buy the occasional shiny object, as long as you can afford it. Knowing your financial limits is the key to a successful financial life.