Social prospecting makes sense. We do business with people we like. Back in 1980 our state issued license plates read: “You have a friend in Pennsylvania.” Back in the 1960s, we heard “you have a friend at Chase Manhattan.” Once you join the right community organizations and are surrounded by wealthy potential prospects, the next step is developing a social relationship. How do you do it?
You might disagree. You want business relationships. You have other channels for getting them much quicker, but they are likely much smaller. Here’s another point. If you have a prospect with $600,000 in liquid assets and you want $500,000 at a minimum, someone needs to get fired. If your prospect has $60 million in liquid assets, coming up with $500,000 or $1,000,000 simply means moving some money around. They simply add another advisory relationship. For this to happen, you often need to become friends first.
The process is easy to describe because it only has three elements.
1. Meeting them
2. Identifying shared interests
3. Seeing them again
Step #1: Meeting Them
Ever since we were little kids, we’ve been afraid of meeting strangers. It’s that “first day of school” feeling where all the other people in the school seem to have formed cliques. How do you break in?
It’s pretty easy. Because you did some research ahead of time, you know who you want to meet. Now you see them at the same event you are attending. The easiest approach is to look around and spot someone you know who knows them and ask for an introduction. That’s the rationale for making friends with the professional staff when you join a museum or other cultural institution.
If that person took the night off, that’s no problem. Walk up, introduce yourself and mention “we have a friend in common.” You both talk about the person who isn’t there. If you find yourself on your own, just walk up and break the ice with a compliment. I often start with “you don’t know who I am…” If you compliment them on the record earnings their company just posted or thank them for sponsoring the art exhibition, it’s almost impossible for them to be offended.
Step #2: Identify Shared Interests
You’ve gotten two sentences out. Now you need to keep the conversation going. It’s like dating. Suppose you walked into an empty club and an attractive person was sitting at the bar. (FYI: You aren’t married in this example.) You know in 10 minutes the place will be filled and everyone will be competing for their attention. The smart approach is to spend those precious minutes drawing them out, looking for interests in common, which you will later us as the rationale for getting back in touch later.
Unfortunately, many people spend that time talking about themselves, how important they are and how fortunate for the attractive person to have met them. You know how that ends.
After holding a conversation the smart way, you disengage and continue working the room. You’ve heard the old Hollywood expression, “Always keep them wanting more.”