Part of Melanie’s personality dynamics included needing to be in control of everything in her life, including her clients. Therefore, when a client asked her a difficult question or wanted her to explain why a recommended product or equity wasn’t doing well, Melanie viewed this as a challenge to her need for control.
Assertive clients gave Melanie negative feedback about her abrasive and patronizing behaviors, and they complained to her manager. Her manager told her that her that despite her productivity, she was becoming difficult to manage and he was considering letting her go. He encouraged her to get help, so Melanie sought out my confidential coaching.
Melanie overcame her rigidity and defensiveness and committed to following my coaching advice. Even though she was concerned that she was “stuck” with Type A genes, I explained that any behavior can be modified.
I taught her relaxation and mindfulness skills and anger mastery, which she absorbed like a sponge! We worked on her need to control everyone and everything in her life. She also “took the risk” to spent the bulk of her weekends engaged in relaxing activities with her family, letting go of work-related issues that used to consume her time and concentration.
Not only did Melanie’s stress levels reduce significantly, but her clients began to give her feedback that she was much easier to deal with. Indeed, her AUM increased nicely and she was ultimately recognized as the advisor of the year in her office!
Action Plan
- Read a book describing methods of modifying Type A personality traits, such as Treating Type A Behavior and Your Heart or The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide.
- Build relaxation skills into your life.
- If anger and irritation seem to be part of your “make-up,” learn anger mastery skills.
- Understand the events and people in your life that trigger your anger and irritation and get counseling to change your reactions to those situations and people.
Dr. Jack Singer is a professional psychologist, speaker and a success coach for select financial advisors. He is the author of The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide, which can be ordered in the FA Mag Bookstore, using this link: /book--ultimate-stress-mastery-guide. To learn more about Dr. Jack’s keynote speaking and exclusive success coaching services for financial advisors and his unique, referral-generating program for your next Client Appreciation Event, contact Jack at [email protected], call him at 1-800-497-9880 and read more at http://www.advisingtheadvisors.com.