Love … and be loved
Appreciate … and make every moment a miracle
Refine … and elevate
You will no doubt recognize familiar topics here. You might react with, “I already know that.” And perhaps you do. Then again, maybe you know only some of it. Or you may be familiar with a proven technique, but you don’t use it regularly. If you find yourself resisting any of these powerful skills, ask yourself why, and don’t stop asking until you get to the real answers. There is always something new to learn, and the journey of self-discovery is endlessly fascinating and rewarding.
Skill No. 1, “Ask,” is especially interesting. We can literally find the answers to anything we seek by asking questions—of ourselves and others. Our brains are designed to answer questions and we have no limits on how many we can ask … but we rarely take advantage of this gift. Why is that?
Imagine that you’re the contestant on a quiz show. And if you can answer the questions, you’ll win everything you’ve ever wanted. Now imagine that you can play that game and have access to the Internet … and you can also have as many “life lines” as you desire—you’re free to ask for help from anyone and everyone. Nor are you limited to how many questions and people and search engines you can access. Wouldn’t that be incredible? Well, that’s exactly what we all have. Plus, asking questions is free, easy and available 24/7. It can unlock the secrets to all and everything… but we have to do it.
Listening is another basic skill that I thought I knew all about. But I didn’t. Many years ago when my business was in big trouble, I realized that the underlying problem was me, i.e., my inadequacies. If we were going to succeed, I had to fill significant gaps in my knowledge and experience. So I enrolled in an executive education course at Harvard Business School. Over the course of three years, I learned a ton. But the list was too long and unwieldly. It needed to be distilled to be practical. Eventually, after whittling away, I finally got it down to just 40 line items. But that was still too long, so I kept searching for the core skill that I needed … and it turned out to be listening.
We think we listen, but few people really do it well. That’s why so many of us say that we have trouble remembering names—the fact is we’re not really paying attention. True listening is a skill that runs deep and wide. It includes things both big and little. Facts and trends—both minor and macro. It includes the world around us and the world within. It incorporates not just our hearing, but all of our senses. And it includes everything from the faint whisper of our souls all the way up to big data and beyond.
Turning Problems Into Puzzles
Alice Walker said, “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”