When advisors want to open dialogues, I tell them to do three things:
1. Establish context/gain permission.
2. Ask the question.
3. Respond reflectively.
(I call it “EAR” for short.)
After you’ve asked the question, dialogues usually begin to take on a life of their own. You’ll see the interesting aspects of their lives and perhaps find similarities with your own. And best of all, you can understand what’s meaningful to them. You may conduct your biographical information search in a session or two, or just collect pieces of your clients’ stories over time. And you should remember to offer them appreciation for the stories, thoughts and perspectives they share.
Later, through your response, you can tie what you offer in your business to what they need. I call this process anchoring—anchoring your service to their personal story. “Based on what you told me, maybe we should look into doing a few things …” and then you can show them. Contemplate what you can do as a concerned human being and as a financial professional to address any concerns they have. Is there an adjustment or addition in their plan that could help?
Objections?
When I talk to advisors about this, I often hear a couple of objections:
1. I don’t have time for this.
The time issue is a myth. You have time. Listen to the conversations you already have during the day. You are likely simply trading small talk and market-speak for meaningful qualitative discussion. I’ve been conducting an experiment in the last few years that addresses this time concern.
In a workshop, I let advisors talk to each other and I allow them exactly eight minutes to learn as much as they can about each other’s stories: one question about their past, one about their present, and one about their possible future.
The results are amazing and myth-exploding—advisors say they can’t believe how much important stuff they learned in so short a time. One noted that he went through this exercise after having spent five hours with the same individual at a football game and dinner the day before. “I learned more about this guy in a few minutes with the right questions than I did all last night being together.”
If you are intent on knowing your clients, you can go miles in minutes with properly designed questions.
There’s another objection to this method:
2. What do I say to clients that I’ve had for years but never made this sort of inquiry with before?
If you have never made such qualitative inquiry into the lives of your clients, you need not be embarrassed. You can casually segue into a more meaningful conversation by saying something like, “I was thinking as I was preparing for you to come in today about the fact that I don’t know if I ever asked you where you grew up and where you went to school.”
You could also catch up with them by saying, “You know, life changes so fast for all of us. To make sure I’m up to date on all that’s happening in your life, let me ask you: Is there anything else in your personal or professional life that might impact your financial life?”
The quantitative stuff is pretty boring when stacked next to the meaningful and profound stories you will find with well-thought-out qualitative discovery. Most people can’t resist the opportunity to talk about their story—and you are now making a more meaningful connection to their life.
Mitch Anthony is the creator of Life-Centered Planning, the author of 12 books for advisors, and the co-founder of ROLadvisor.com and LifeCentered Planners.com.