I also know a widow who left her deceased husband’s advisor, somebody who had worked with her husband for decades. She left because, in her words, “He only wanted to talk about money.”
There’s a difference between what some clients want to talk about and what they want to know. They want to talk about their kids or grandkids; their dogs or cats; their latest ailments; or their new favorite restaurants, shows or hobbies. And they want to engage with you about not only what’s going on in their lives, but also in yours. That’s one way they can feel more connected to you.
At a recent breakfast meeting I had with a husband and wife, they talked about their dog and new backyard landscape for over 25 minutes. I didn’t rush them. In fact, I drew it out. I asked how their dog, Mr. Bojangles, got along with other dogs in the neighborhood, which led to a discussion about the obnoxious dog next door and nosy neighbors. They designed part of the landscape with a sandbox for Mr. Bojangles to dig but often kept it covered at night so neighborhood cats didn’t use it as a litter box. I responded by sharing a couple of stories about our rescue dog and how I gave him the nickname Pinocchio because he thinks he’s a real boy.
Later, as I began to go over their portfolio, they stopped me after I covered just two of their four accounts by saying, “We trust you and think you’re doing a great job.” They had other things they wanted to talk about, like their RV and planned trip to Florida.
Now don’t get me wrong. I realize some clients may want to spend more time on the financials. But even engineers have hobbies and interests outside of spreadsheets. So again, don’t confuse what clients want to know and what they want to talk about. To differentiate between the two, you’ll have to break some old and outdated molds. Client meetings can no longer be limited to 45 minutes or an hour. They need to be scheduled for 1.5 hours with 20- to 30-minute buffers before the next meeting.
That may sound and feel outright insane for some advisors, especially those with large numbers of clients. But here’s the thing. The clients, especially those more in tune with non-financial items, know when you are rushing them or just want to hurry up and get through the numbers.
If you want people to feel relaxed—to know you are listening to them and taking an interest in them—it takes time. The easiest thing is to be curious about them. We have all heard the famous sales line, “Always be closing,” but in the new era of retirement, it’s “Always be curious,” because both the hard side and soft side need equal time and effort in client meetings.
Overall, advisors can no longer operate under the old and outdated idea that the hard side, dollars and cents, is the dominant one in the retirement planning process. Going forward, professionals need to operate under a new mandate—to not only focus on planning for both the personal and financial side of life after work, but also to invest more time and energy in what clients want to talk about rather than just know.
Robert Laura is a best-selling author, nationally syndicated columnist and president of the Wealth & Wellness Group. He is a seasoned conference speaker, corporate trainer and founder of the Certified Professional Retirement Coach Designation, which focuses on the non-financial aspects of life after work. He can be reached at [email protected].