“Disorganization comes with grieving and how long the grieving process lasts is different for everyone,” said Balcom.
Only 14 percent of widows say they were making financial decisions by themselves before their spouse died and now afterwards 86 percent report having to do so alone.
Margenson advises practicing a temporary financial-free zone because 69 percent don’t want to be pressured, according to the study.
“Be there for them, guide them but don't push your widowed clients into making financial decisions too quickly instead offer to help,” Margeson said.
Duties a widow is often charged with include accessing the spouse’s accounts, locating important documents, continuing to pay bills on time, updating beneficiary information and reassessing retirement plans.
“A death certificate is an important document when you're ascertaining assets, transitioning from a joint to an individual account, filing for survivor benefits, social security payments or life insurance,” said Margeson. “You need to be prepared to present it because if you don't have the necessary paperwork, it just adds another level of stress.”
Some 50 percent of Carbonaro’s clientele are women who lost their spouse – it is not uncommon for them to burst into tears in her office.
As a result, strong empathy, such as hand holding, a pat on the back and having a box of tissues handy goes a long way, especially when six in ten recent widows report feeling burdened by immediate expenses, such as debt, funeral expenses and a mortgage or rent.
“Showing empathy and having it are two different things,” said Carbonaro who, in some cases, has been hired specifically for the wife by the husband before he passed away. “Either you care or you don’t. You can put yourself in someone else’s shoes or you can’t.”