“I already have an advisor.” You run into that reply to a lot when meeting people socially. It makes you want to say: “Why are you telling me? It’s not like I approached you to do business!” You feel like they are creating distance. How can you establish yourself as the alternative?
Establishing an alternative is what defense attorneys do in the courtroom. The prosecution makes the case the defendant is guilty based on facts in evidence. The defense makes the case that their client is innocent because things happened differently. They are building an alternative storyline, seeking to convince the jury there is reasonable doubt the prosecution got it right.
Let’s look at six ways to establish yourself as the alternative when the person you know explains they already have an advisor.
1. I expected that. It’s a safe assumption everyone with lots of money already has someone giving them advice. You might continue by responding: “Successful people often have multiple advisor relationships. You are obviously successful. How many do you have?
Rationale: The person you met had one hair stylist, one accountant and one mechanic. Isn’t one advisor enough? How many doctors do they have? Likely more than one. In The Millionaire’s Advisor by Russ Alan Prince and Brett Van Bortel, the authors make the point wealthy people average three financial advisors. You have changed the dynamic to “one is not enough.”
2. Let me know if anything changes. Your answer starts with “I’m sure you are happy with your current advisor. Here’s my card. Please let me know if anything changes. You move to another subject.
Rationale: You are respectful of their current relationship while positioning yourself in case something happens in the future. Their advisor might retire. They might drift apart. Who knows what the future holds?
3. It’s not about you. You don’t lead with those words, but the message is: “We are going through a difficult time in the market. You might know some people who aren’t as lucky as you (having a good advisor). I thought we might spend a few minutes talking about “what I do.” After that, if you come across any of those folks, you will know how I might be able to help them.”
Rationale: This isn’t a suitable a strategy for a casual conversation with someone you just met. It’s a longer conversation with a friend you know is working with a competitor. It eases the conversation by introducing an as yet unidentified third party, “someone you might be able to help.”
4. What do you like best about them? The person works with someone already. That’s great! What do they like best? Would they recommend them? If they hesitate on the first question and say no to the second, ask: “Why do you stay with them?” It’s a tactful question.
Rationale: You are politely putting them in the position of selling (or defending) their advisor. If they aren’t that happy, you are on your way to establishing yourself as the alternative.
5. Where do you see room for improvement? Let us take the above example a step further. They like their advisor. They name positive traits. Ask where they could be doing better.
Rationale: When people tell you what they aren’t getting, they are telling you what they want in a relationship. You could follow up with “in the ideal relationship, you would want…”