The same rule applies, of course, if there are children involved, especially children who may have come into being using a sperm bank or donor eggs and a surrogate. In these cases, working with an attorney who specializes in this area is extremely important, estate planning experts say.
“If you have any of theses issues, it is more important for you than anyone else in the world to do planning, because the default rules don’t work for you,” Rubenstein said. “The default rules presume a marriage between a man and a woman with three natural children. And they don’t cover any of this stuff. It won’t be done for you by default. You have to do it affirmatively.”
Trusts are generally considered safer from family meddling than wills because they’re private entities that operate automatically without probate. So assets passed directly from one spouse to another in a trust may attract less public scrutiny. Dynasty trusts are more complicated though, as making changes can be tricky if the creator has passed away, especially if two or more beneficiaries share the trust. The best-case scenario for a same-sex couple in cases like Tyrion’s, where the relative did not use a general word, such as “spouse,” would be an individual trust in which the creator gave the beneficiary a broad form power of appointment. With power of appointment, the beneficiary has the legal authority to make another person the outright or beneficial owner of the trust.
A technique called decanting is also possible in some states. Simply put, decanting “pours” the assets of the old trust into a new trust that better meets the beneficiary’s needs, leaving the “sediment” behind. A shared trust complicates any scenario, though, because all the beneficiaries must be involved in the process before a trust can be modified or dissolved. So again, it’s best that Tyrion makes sure everything is taken care of ahead of time, while he’s still around to talk to his brother and sister, make his wishes clear and hopefully avoid legal battles.
"In general, family members are more likely to be swayed by another family member rather than by an in-law. And that would apply to an in-law who's a member of a same-sex couple as well,” Joyce said. “Welcome to being an in-law.”
Then again, it’s going to be tough for anyone to sway Cersei.