“One recently-widowed client from a few years ago was overwhelmed by his wife’s estate having created several trusts instead of leaving him all of the assets outright. It was smart planning, but he distrusted everyone involved,” Popernik said. “We eventually earned his trust by educating him.”

“Trust takes time to develop,” Aucamp said, “but it can be lost quickly. History suggests that most surviving spouses terminate the family’s wealth advisor soon after the death of the spouse.” Over-communicate with the surviving spouse through the estate process, he advised.

“We first meet with both members of a married couple to help them reach a shared understanding of their financial priorities and values. While one spouse may continue to take the lead on financial matters, the goal is for both spouses is to gain clarity on their plan and the reasoning behind why their planning team is recommending certain strategies,” Popernik added.

Karon, who will be 76 on his next birthday, said he's making sure his wife is prepared in case she is someday a widow. “Not that I’m particularly rich, but I now have my wife pay all our bills,” he said. “I explained income and estate taxes to her, showed her our net worth and have her talk directly, without me, with our money manager.”

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