• “Of course I had to keep my dad away from my sisters and brother—they’re greedy and they only wanted to get his money.”
• “I needed to protect my uncle because he was afraid that his children were going to hit him, push him down or lock him up in a mental asylum.”
Don’t expect the isolator to readily admit that she bought her boyfriend a new Harley with Grandma’s money, that the house and surrounding area are a pigsty because she’s doing meth, or that all of Grandma’s jewelry was sold to support her drug habit. You’ve got to dig at it when your loved one is isolated and you’re frozen out. The process can be demanding, frustrating and anxiety producing. Still, don’t turn your back on your elder—do something to protect the vulnerable.
Unwarranted Transfers
First, an acknowledgment: Families often find it difficult to transfer an elderly family member to an assisted living or nursing facility in situations where it is absolutely in the senior’s best interest to be transferred. In fact, I’d venture to say that most transfers are absolutely warranted and done with love and care for the senior. It’s the unwarranted transfers, coupled with wrongdoing, that can petrify family members.
The common setting for unwarranted transfers is the presence of a family member—maybe a stepbrother or stepsister—who is estranged from the senior’s other children and family members. For whatever reason, and by whatever treacherous means, the wrongdoer is able to get the elder into his or her home and amend the elder’s estate plan. Once the estate plan is effectively altered, it can be “Katy, bar the door!” for change.
More than once, we have seen situations in which a senior is transferred, against his or her wishes, to a facility geographically removed from other family members. In the meantime, personal goods and family mementos are often discarded or hidden. These actions often cause more anger than money transfers. You simply can’t replace photographs, family heirlooms, military awards or personal collections with money. Confiscating family treasures is an affront to the remaining family members—a complete disregard of invaluable family history and a glaring mark of the wrongdoer’s greed.
Difficulties abound when trying to address unwarranted transfers. First off, the senior often lacks capacity. So what do we do in this scenario? One way to deal with an incompetent senior is to seek a conservatorship of his or her person and estate. This option can come with complications, however: Does the senior really wish to be supervised by a stranger or even a well-meaning family member? Conservatorships can be expensive and time-consuming. Prospective conservatees are afforded legal counsel from a public defender or a private attorney, and the costs of this counsel are paid from the conservatee’s estate. It should be noted, though, that courts are often reluctant to appoint conservators, even for those with considerable impairment. Taking away someone’s freedom is not done lightly, even if such freedom increases the person’s vulnerability to scams and unscrupulous people.
Detecting The Tactics Of Elder Financial Abuse
The sooner elder financial abuse is detected, the better the chances for recovery of estate and trust assets on behalf of the victim. So what are the typical signs or “red flags” to look out for? According to the guidelines of the National Adult Protective Services Association, the following factors should be watched closely to avoid a potential personal tragedy and financial disaster: