"We uncovered a lot that we did not know growing up," Tim Barg says. "Either they did not think it was important to tell us or we were not listening. I did not know I had been raised on land that was homesteaded by my grandfather until I came across a deed."
The Bargs decided they wanted help in passing along the things that were important to their six children, ages 10 to 22.
"It is hard to describe how Jamie [Weiner] and Carolyn do it. It is not just a conversation about what is important to us, it was a process of sharing that transformed our thinking about what is valuable," Tim Barg says. "We did not want our family to get upset about what might or might not be coming to them. That is part of the discussion."
The Bargs have only done the legacy planning process with themselves and their children so far, but they say they want to bring in their siblings eventually.
Likewise, financial advisors say they feel they need assistance in this abstract part of their clients' lives.
"The other side of estate planning is legacy planning," says Brent Novoselsky, vice president of GCG Financial in Chicago.
"As a financial planner, we were challenged to extend beyond the legal and financial details of a family," adds Ron Bernstein, a financial planner at GCG Financial. "We found Jamie and Carolyn's abilities to articulate the generational transfer of life experiences important for our clients."
"There is frequently an inherent conflict between the generations, and Jamie and Carolyn can help us work through these issues," says Novoselsky. "The idea of passing on knowledge and ideals is that you can't pass on the garden but you can pass on the seeds if you identify them."
The legacy planning sessions give the principals at GCG a chance to sit with their clients with guidance and work through these issues and the obstacles that can crop up over a long period of time, rather than just highlighting the ideas in one session, the advisors say.
Legacy planning is not all "pie in the sky" thinking-it involves solid plans with outcomes, note Friend and Weiner.
"What we are trying to do for the advisor is to prepare the family so that legacy planning can be incorporated in wealth planning or family governance," Weiner explains.