Two more tips are worth mentioning. A planner from Minnesota suggested doing this work with a smaller number of clients. “Go deeper with fewer clients,” as a way to start and really hone skills. An attorney from Michigan believes this work may be a better fit for those involved in a spiritual community. After all, “These aren’t the types of questions commonly expected from an attorney.”
Cautions
Practitioners cautioned, more than anything else, about the emotional material that often emerges from the process of writing an ethical will. As such, the lack of control over the process means they must be prepared for just about anything that may come up. For example, one planner in California said the topic of a client’s molestation was “just about too much information for me to handle.” Practitioners must be prepared to deal with a wide assortment of topics that may take them out of their comfort zone including death, estrangement from family members and dramatic family stories.
Some practitioners directly tackle these and other issues and seem to feel quite comfortable doing so. They reported the importance of being a skilled communicator in dealing with difficult topics and welcome the “pain, tears and laughter” that may result. One strategy is to team up with a family systems expert to either coach the planner or directly handle the relationship dynamics that result from the process.
Conclusion
I would love to see you become responsible members of the community and philanthropists. To that end, I have set up a donor-advised fund as the main conduit for our philanthropic interest. This fund will give you and possibly your children the ability to make grants to worthy causes. I want portability so that you can direct grants to your own communities, as well as to national and international interests.
-Ethical will of a client of an estate planning attorney from Oregon
There is an enthusiastic group of financial planners and estate planning attorneys who have integrated ethical wills into their practices. In doing so, these advisors add a meaningful dimension to their menu of services. Ethical wills appeal to clients who want to include the intangible assets that comprise their legacy. Advisors benefit from developing deep and loyal client relationships.
Dr. Eric Weiner gives presentations on family legacy conversations using ethical wills. He is a certified ethical will facilitator. His books, Words from the HEART: A Practical Guide to Writing an Ethical Will and Ethical Wills: Words from the Jewish HEART are both available at www.familylegacyadvisor.com.