Historically, it wasn’t the wedding couple that would dictate where the bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties were held, according to Jodi Smith, an etiquette consultant. Instead, attendees would get together, set a budget and plan the event. But things have now changed. Guests need to review their budget and speak honestly, Smith said.
“What’s changed is the scale and scope,” Smith said. “Couples need to take that into consideration that there’s a chance their friends or relatives will say no to being at their wedding because they simply can’t afford to attend and spending money on somebody is not equivalent with friendship. I shouldn’t have to prove that I’m friends with you by going into debt.”
Even in the wealthiest enclaves, some venues are trying to lure in brides and their guests with deals. On any given weekend night at Calissa, a Greek restaurant in the Hamptons, brides-to-be celebrate their final bit of time before entering matrimony. The venue has seen so much demand from bachelorette parties that earlier this summer it began limiting reservations to 50 people for such events.
Brooke Baldinger, 30, went to Calissa to celebrate a friend’s bachelorette in early June. At $650 for the weekend, she said it was cheaper than what she’s spent before when some of her best friends were getting married.
In the next year, Baldinger has eight marriages to attend, three of which require pre-wedding events: engagement parties, bachelorettes and bridal showers. During the summer, when prices tend to be higher, she has to go to three weddings—in Connecticut, upstate New York and Vermont. She’s predicting a $5,000 budget for hotels, car reservations and trains.
The pre-wedding parties alone can cost guests as much or more than attending the actual weddings. Shravan Malaney, 29, has eight weddings to go to this year and two bachelor parties. On top of the travel, there’s the cost of the Airbnb and any activities and meals.
Those “can add up pretty significantly,” Malaney said. He’s expecting to spend $1,000 on the bachelor parties and another $4,200 on all the weddings.
“Now that I’m tallying up these numbers, I’m like ‘holy sh-t, I’m spending a lot of money on weddings,’” he said. “I don’t know how my body’s going to handle it for the next two years.”
This article was provided by Bloomberg News.