Your friends know and trust you. They know what you do for a living. The stock market is volatile. Why aren’t they asking for advice? Here are a few reasons.

1. They think you don’t do business with friends. The reason you’ve never asked them is the same reason they haven’t approached you. They are afraid to mix business with pleasure and assume you feel the same way. They trust you. They feel you have experience and credentials. They assume if you felt comfortable doing business with friends, you would have approached them long ago. If you asked, they would say yes, but since you haven’t asked, they aren’t making the first move.
Strategy: It’s simple.  Make the first move. If they ask: “Why now” you can explain you assume they worked with someone else already. Everyone should have the opportunity to say no.

2. They don’t have enough money. They know you work with HNW individuals. You’ve probably told them. They know some of your clients because their friends have said they work with you. Those friends are rich. A California advisor approached a friend for business. Not only did the friend instantly agree, but they also said they hoped they would be asked! When the advisor probed, he learned that friend knew quite a few of his larger clients through word of mouth. Those folks were far richer, so he assumed he was off the radar. FYI: The ultimate account size was substantial.
Strategy: Once again, you need to ask. Bear in mind a minimum threshold is exclusive, meaning it excludes people. A range with an average is inclusive. People can see where they fit.  

3. They think the bus is full. You work long hours. Your friends know that. They rarely hear you talk about new clients. Why? Because you don’t talk about your clients at all! You decline opportunities to get together because of the demands of work. Your friends think you have all the clients you can handle. Asking you to take them on as a client would be an imposition, like asking for a favor. They don’t want to impose, so they don’t ask.
Strategy: From time to time, talk about taking on a new client. Mention where they came from, like the relationship was a referral from another client. Now they know there are empty seats on the bus.

4. They think you are very, very expensive. You live in a nice house. You have late model cars. You take expensive vacations. Your children attend private school. How can you afford all this? Obviously, you are successful, but how do the bills get paid, they wonder! They assume you have a small, core group of clients. For some reason, these loyal clients have no price sensitivity whatsoever. You charge them extortionate commissions! That’s how they think you fund your lifestyle!
Strategy: If business ever comes up, explain it’s very competitive out there. Your business doesn’t have initiation fees like a country club. It doesn’t have surrender charges, like early termination on a car lease. Your clients are mostly on a pay-as-you-go basis. You might go into details if they express interest.

5. They are embarrassed about their personal finances. Many people are embarrassed about their bodies. That’s why they turn down invitations to swim parties. They often feel the same way about their personal financial health. They project an outward image of wealth and comfort while wondering if they can reduce their overhead by firing the lawn service and cutting their own grass. Their big fear is opening up to you about their finances, watching you thoughtfully look over their account statements and say: “Your money…what happened to it?”
Strategy: When you join a gym and talk with a personal trainer, they aren’t going to start out by saying you are in bad shape. They are going to find things to compliment while shifting the conversation to focus on the future, looking at long-term goals. Your friends likely earn a good living and have put away retirement savings. They pay their bills on time. Find things to compliment, then ask about future goals. Where do they want to be?  That should help put them at ease.

There are many reasons why friends haven’t approached you for business. You can use those reasons as conversation starters.

Bryce Sanders is president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition training for the financial services industry. His book Captivating the Wealthy Investor is available on Amazon.