Some friends often make misguided assumptions about financial advisors. They might assume you have an unlimited expense account for entertainment. In other situations, picking up the check for a meal creates an unseen social obligation where the recipient is expected to do something for you. Are there rules? If not, we should at least make some assumptions.

1. You invite a client for lunch to review their portfolio. This is a business lunch. You are meeting in your role as a financial services professional. You hope they will act on the advice you deliver. This lunch might take place before or after the review, but the review could also be conducted over lunch. You pay the check.

2. A client is unhappy. The relationship is at risk. You invite them out. You have a meal together. You say: “Things haven’t been good lately.” You stop talking, they get everything off their chest. This is a tough time for you. You conclude the lunch by asking: “What can we do to move forward?” You pay the check.

3. A client invites you to lunch or dinner at their country club. You join them, being careful not to order the most expensive items on the menu. Put another way, you follow their lead in choosing the number of courses. The bill arrives. The client pays because cash or guest credit cards are not accepted. You ask: “Can I help you with that?” or say “I will get the check the next time.”

4. Your HNW friends or clients suggest going out to dinner. They might choose the restaurant. This is considered a gathering of friends where you do not intend to bring up business. You will answer business questions if the others raise them. The bill gets divided. Everyone pays an equal share.

5. You are going out with friends. You insist on choosing the restaurant. You have always wanted to try this hard-to-get-into venue. At last, you have gotten a reservation, though it is weeks in advance. You tell friends about it. The restaurant is out of their price range. You pay the check because you insisted on the venue.

6. Friends get together to celebrate a birthday. You go out for drinks as a group. Someone in the group is celebrating a significant birthday or a milestone event like the couple’s anniversary. The guest of honor does not pay. The bill is divided evenly among the remaining guests. You are treating the friend on their special day.

7. Your friends think you have an expense account. A group of friends goes out for drinks. You are all sitting around a large table. Your concern is a large bill will mount up and a few will leave the table for a rest room break and keep going. You announce you are buying the first round. “After that, you are on your own.” You settle your bill immediately.

8. You are getting together with your parents or grandparents. This might a birthday or holiday. They are the guest of honor. It might be a simple weekly dinner out. The meal is in a local family-style restaurant. You offer to pay, but if they insist, you agree with their wishes. They still want to feel they are doing something for you.

9. Someone invites you out for coffee to ask career advice. This is not a formal job interview. It might be a fellow alum who is asking questions about working for your firm. Maybe they want to be a financial advisor too. They pick up the bill. This is an informal payment for your advice.

10. You meet people on vacation and go out for drinks. Friendships form quickly on cruise ships. You tend to spend lots of time together. Everyone has a shipboard account. You assume they are in the same financial circumstances as you. Everyone covers their own costs. The serving staff will ask for everyone’s shipboard account card.

11. You are visiting friends in another city and staying at their home. It is polite bearing gifts. You should not walk in empty handed. They are providing meals and home plus lodging. You are expected to cover on dinner out during your stay. Insist on it. Offer to split the bill for other meals out.

12. You are getting together with a friend who lost their job. It happens. They might be a high-powered executive or a regular person. Because this came as a surprise, their finances might be in disarray. You want to cheer them up. You pay the bill. Let them know they can pick up the check the next time.

13. You are out with friends. The check arrives. Everyone goes silent. This might bring us back to the people who assume you have an unlimited expense account. You take the bill and say, “Why don’t we split this evenly?” You do the math and approximate how much everyone owes.

14. You are having dinner with friends. There is a great bottle of wine you must try. The expectation is the bill will be divided evenly, but it is unfair to saddle them with the cost of an expensive wine they would not otherwise have ordered. This happens to me. At the start of the meal, tell the server you would like a bottle of that wine. It is a separate purchase; you will pay that bill immediately.

You might be a generous person and there are many times you can simply pick up the check. If you do this too often, some friends will assume they can simply keep their mouth shut and take advantage of your good nature. People need to pay their fair share. You can determine when you will choose to be generous.

Bryce Sanders is president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition training for the financial services industry. His book Captivating the Wealthy Investor is available on Amazon.