Why do the surveys give such different results? Let me count the reasons:
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The establishment survey doesn't include farms while the household survey does, and in 2017, about three-quarters of farmers, ranchers and agricultural workers were men.
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The establishment survey doesn't include the self-employed while the household survey does, and men also greatly outnumber women among the self-employed.
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The establishment survey double-counts people with multiple jobs, and more women than men report holding multiple jobs.
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People working as independent contractors or off the books usually don't show up in the establishment surveys. The last time the BLS counted the number of independent contractors, in 2005, 1 about two-thirds were men, and while there's no formal count of off-the-books workers, it seems likely that many are in male-dominated fields such as construction.
Most of the differences between the two surveys, then, have to do with the different sorts of jobs that men and women do. 2 Here's women's share of employment in 2017 in the broad occupational categories tracked by the BLS in the household survey:
