“I’ve had people say, ‘Is there anyone here that is more qualified than you?’” she said.

Some clients indirectly expressed that they didn’t want to depend on Moore “for the real stuff like the financial planning and the investment advice.” Those clients would call the firm’s office to check Moore’s qualifications with the administrative assistant and possibly see if she had their account by mistake. When Moore surveyed her peers about these acts and comments, her male colleagues would tell her, “‘I’ve never had that happen before,’ and I’m like ‘Well, this happens to me all the time.’”

Stuck Between A Smile And A Mean Face

“We’ve all been brought up learning that as women we’re supposed to be communal and supportive and we’re not supposed to be competitive and struggling to do better,” said Mattia. “We’re dealing with a lot of social norms and stereotypes.”

Women also run into that double bind when they are asked to do work that subordinates would normally do. Sonya Dreizler, an impact investing and business management consultant, said she once asked an acquaintance if she could speak at his event. He told her that her requests to be a speaker hinged on whether she would write name tags at the event’s check-in desk.

Dreizler, the founder of Solutions with Sonya in San Francisco, said she felt the guy was trying to pull rank and make her his assistant. She suggested that he turn to student volunteers for help with the name tags.

“I tried to provide a different solution, instead of just saying ‘no,’” said Dreizler.

The Motherhood Penalty

Corporate America’s strides to support working parents hit a roadblock when it comes to family leave.

According to research by Michelle J. Budig, a professor at the University of Massachusetts, women’s pay decreased by 4 percent after they had children. Men who lived with their children received a 6 percent increase.