Limits on credit cards is another example of something that sounds good until it doesn’t work. One client got stranded at a gas station because he had hit his limit. His poor wife had to drive 40 miles to buy him some gas. Which leads us to another sticky situation, getting the car keys.
I was at a shopping plaza the other day and twice almost got hit. When do fender benders represent a real safety issue? I have found that most people think they drive better than they do. Seniors are notorious for refusing to give up their keys. I can’t say I blame them. It represents a loss of freedom and autonomy. It also means someone else will have to transport them.
In many states, if the doctor agrees it is necessary, they can contact the DMV and the patient will have to requalify to keep their license. Sometimes, the revocation of the license is enough to keep the patient from driving. Sometimes not. The end of driving can elicit some strong reactions
Seniors often display uncharacteristically terrible behavior for less significant issues like simply being reminded to take food out of the freezer to thaw. Their frustration at not being able to recall things can lead to some downright hateful, paranoid and sometimes even violent interactions with those around them.
There is no document that can help a person when their spouse of 55 years tells them they hate them, wishes they were dead and pushes them into the wall. On an intellectual basis, the husband in this case knew his wife didn’t really mean those things but that hasn’t stopped him from having the image of the “fire in her eyes” as vivid now, 9 years after she passed away, as it was when she shoved him. Those weren’t the sweet baby blues he fell in love with, and it hurts to think about it.
These issues can be emotionally brutal, and it is easy to forget that there are literally millions of others who have gone through or are going through similar challenges. A great source of free yet substantial support can be found at churches and other faith-based organizations. Many communities also have programs offering care to the elderly or respite to their caregivers.
Financial planners surely need to be up to speed on the documents our clients should have, but I think we have an opportunity to help in areas where it can have a very profound personal impact. Take some time to get out in your community and meet people providing services to seniors and caregivers. Someone will need them soon.
Dan Moisand, CFP, has been featured as one of America’s top independent financial advisors by Financial Planning, Financial Advisor, Investment Advisor, Investment News, Journal of Financial Planning, Accounting Today, Research, Wealth Manager, and Worth magazines. He practices in Melbourne, Fla. You can reach him at www.moisandfitzgerald.com.