“I’m okay…I’m good to go… It’s fine…” were all responses I gave my football coaches and trainers in order to avoid admitting I was hurt and needed to come out of the game. Whether I had just run head-on into another player, took a shot to the ribs or got chopped blocked at my knees, I was taught from a young age to be a warrior—to hide the pain and discomfort, to play through a concussion or other injury, to never admit defeat and to do whatever it took to win. I loved the game and gladly accepted the warriors code.
Decades later, I have come to terms, as many other athletes have, that this tough guy, play-on-no-matter-what attitude comes at a price—a significant cost to your long-term physical and mental health. While great strides have been made in the game of football regarding helmet-to-helmet contact and concussion awareness, the same cannot be said for the game of retirement, where a similar code exists especially for men. The current retirement planning culture encourages many head of households to focus on their careers and to do whatever it takes to support their family, while sacrificing many personal things in exchange for a future retirement.
Ask any guy whose 50+ on how things are going with work and family, and you’ll get a warrior’s response, “It’s good… Everything is fine…Can’t complain...” They have accepted the everyday grind but don’t realize they are taking hits to their social life, family relationships and physical well-being. They are taking blows to the head and heart that can cause major problems later on in life when they don’t have their work life, team or identity to help them keep things together.
As financial professionals, we are uniquely positioned to help change this culture, and it starts by no longer allowing clients to compartmentalize their retirement plans. We can no longer allow men to stay in the game without warning them that their financial and career focus may inhibit their ability to thrive in retirement. In a nutshell, that means getting educated on more than just modern portfolio theory, the 4 percent rule and flooring for retirement income.
This process starts with research and science to raise awareness. When it comes to football, we have all come to learn that there is a correlation between repeated head injuries and later health difficulties. Years of head trauma can lead to a brain disease commonly referred to as CTE or Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE). Symptoms can include dementia, memory loss and depression.
As a result of this research, the culture of the game has changed. Coaches and players have not only had to adapt to the issue, but many parents are also opting to either pull kids from the sport or delay the age at which they strap on a helmet. There was even a major motion picture titled, Concussion starring Will Smith done on the topic.
But when it comes to retirement, advisors remain unaware of similar correlations or problems that can affect a client’s body, brain or their overall well-being. Therefore, it’s more important than ever that we begin to use the science and research available to us to better educate our clients as they move towards a retirement decision.
For example, right now, we know that 20 of the 43 most stressful life events can come near or in the early phases of retirement. But most advisors have no knowledge of this, nor do they have the tools and resources to help clients deal with them. Even more frightening is the harsh reality that retirement by itself is number 10 on the list and comes from what is called the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale.
Research also tells us that in order for people to thrive and feel positive about their use of time and role, they need three positive emotions for every one negative emotion. It’s referred to as a positivity ratio and comes to us from the world of Positive Psychology. Truth is, most people, especially retired men, fall short of the ratio and can be blindsided by negative emotions in retirement, leaving them feeling alone and suffering in silence.
Just as the suicide deaths of football greats Dave Duerson and Junior Seau pushed the issue into the spotlight, calling for more research and change, some advisors may be surprised to hear that suicide rates are highest among people over the age of 65. According to the American Association of Suicidology (AAS). The 65+ age group makes up 12.5 percent of the population, yet accounts for 15.9 percent of all suicides. White men over than age 65 take their own life at almost triple the overall rate and are eight times more likely to kill themselves than women in the same age group.
You would think that suicide deaths of major celebrities who were retirement age such as Robin Williams (63), Anthony Bordaine (61), Kate Spade (55) would help raise awareness around the issue, but the topic continues to get swept under the rug. I understand that it’s a sensitive topic, but we can’t afford to keep ignoring it.