Don’t overdo it with the bar cart nips, either. Flight attendants keep careful tabs on how many drinks each passenger requests, and they reserve the right to refuse you service if you appear too intoxicated. One or two drinks at mealtime is considered standard—but if you’re slurring words, looking glassy-eyed, or making constant trips to the bathroom, the crew is likely watching.

Premium Cabins Aren’t the Premium Assignment
After years of flying both in the front and back of the plane, I assumed that working in the premium cabins was a more coveted role: You’re in charge of fewer, more comfortable passengers. I was wrong. Billie Jean and Derek, two of my crew mates, explained that on Dreamliners, most flight attendants prefer the economy service. “Premium passengers aren’t any more or less demanding than economy passengers," said Billie Jean, "and it can be boring manning the galley away from the rest of the crew.”

How to Win the “Most Annoying Passenger” Award
Businessmen, babies, or blissed-out yogis: Which is most likely to annoy a flight attendant? Crew members agree: Yogis take the prize. “It happens at least once a flight, they come into our galley space and start doing stretches, or—even worse—push-ups,” said Ilse. Fellow crew member Grace and Derek agreed and said flights to and from the West Coast carried the greatest number of offenders by far.

The Secret Room Upstairs
Yes, it’s true: On transcontinental flights, flight attendants can take naps in a secret dorm room above the galley, through a door that looks like an inconspicuous closet near the lavatories. The berths are like plastic nests with full length-beds, sheets, pillows, and privacy curtains. And breaks are carefully timed: My team was divided into two groups, each getting one hour and 40 minutes of rest in the dorm. To avoid tardiness and miscommunication, the entire cabin crew syncs their analog watches—a wardrobe must—to the time of their destination.

The Dirtiest Part of the Job
Airplane bathrooms are not for the faint of heart. Their stench has even been known to ground long-haul flights.

Norwegian’s policy is to clean the lavatories every 20 minutes—and yes, that’s the responsibility of flight attendants. Fun fact: Attendants regularly cover up strong odors by brewing a large pot of coffee and pouring it down the toilet. It neutralizes both the bacteria and the smell.  

Mile-High Club Myths
“It actually happens far more frequently than you think. I’d say at least once a month someone tries it, with about a 30 percent success rate,” Ilse explained. “We’ve even seen total strangers meet on a flight and make a run for the lavatory together.”

That’s about once every eight flights, if you do the math. As for the failed encounters? Suffice it to say that sprints to the lavatories are usually intercepted. “Sometimes I just want to give the passengers a ton of Purel and say, ‘what are you thinking?’” joked Grace.

You Can Sweet-Talk Your Way to First Class
Contrary to popular belief, the cabin crew does indeed possess the ability to move you into premium seats. But there probably isn’t space for you.