Rising rents and home prices mean more parents of adult children are welcoming them back to the nest after college, but the current economic environment is forcing them to pull back on the level of financial support they can offer, according to Minneapolis-based Thrivent.

While 41% of parents currently are allowing their adult children to live with them, up just a tick from 40% in 2022, 39% of parents are also reporting that this year they had to either completely withdraw or scale back their financial support, found the firm’s second annual “Boomerang Kids Survey.”

This makes the next statistic even more surprising, said one advisor familiar with the survey: There’s been a 7% increase in the number of parents who admit they are not actively setting boundaries around their support, to 60% this year from 53% in 2022. Those boundaries would include conversations about their child’s expectations, money management, establishing a timeline for when they’ll move out or consulting with a financial advisor.

“There’s a fair amount of avoidance,” said Alex Gonzalez, a certified financial planner and Thrivent advisor based in Bloomington, Minn. “This study is a cross-section of all of our society, and a lot of households don’t work with a financial advisor. The ones that do are having conversations with their advisor about where they stand in short- and long-term goals, and this allows the advisor to also have a candid discussion about the impact of supporting an adult child.”

Given that parents are also trying to financial prepare for their own life events—48% of respondents said they were saving for retirement, 25% were saving to buy a home, 56% paying off debt, 24% caring for aging parents and 15% saving for college for other children—understanding that impact may be what’s needed to move the needle on those heart-to-hearts.

“Ask the client, ‘Are you willing to work longer or spend less in retirement?’ We love our kids and want to help as much as we can, but putting it in context with their financial plan is what we have to do,” Gonzalez said.

Fifty-one percent of parents have put off their own savings in order to help financially support their children, including compromising on future healthcare needs, the survey found. Despite this strain, the survey found that 75% of parents with boomerang kids aren’t discussing money management at all, 80% aren’t setting financial expectations, and 92% haven’t set a timeline for moving out.

Illustrating the need to probe those expectations is the fact that while only 16% of parents said they could fully support their children, 53% of adult children felt they could.

“I get it, I’m one of these parents myself,” said Gonzalez, who said he has three adult children. “Two have boomeranged back, so my wife and I have had to set their expectations from the beginning. We want to stay on our financial goals and not expose ourselves to more financial risk.”

Gonzalez said his children are employed, investing in 401ks and paying for health insurance. They’re also paying their own car payments, car insurance and phone, and they’re contributing to the household groceries and utilities.

His approach is in keeping with the survey results, which showed that 52% of parents with boomerang kids want their adult child to help pay for groceries, 32% want partial rent or mortgage expenses, and 31% expect help with water, gas and utilities.

“We’re not charging rent so they can save that and build up some cash so they have the flexibility,” Gonzalez said. “This is teaching them some good money lessons long-term—they’ve already set up flexible spending accounts at work. But the real lesson is life is expensive.”

Given the money drain that boomerang kids seem to represent in a lot of households, the advisor said financial professionals who identify this is a client’s reality might be able to become a hero.

“For practices that focus on investment management, this can be a way to add on a planning opportunity,” he said. “If a client doesn’t have a financial plan, this is a good time to put one into place to see how they can help their adult children.”

The survey, which polled 2,200 adults, was conducted in May with the help of Morning Consult, a national data gathering company.