Graham noted it's more important than ever for advisors to work with a couple, not just one spouse. "You have to find a way to be in front of them, and make sure you focus on the women. Not just because she's going to outlive the guy. I hate hearing that. It's not just that. Right now, she values you in ways that he may not."
Women tend to focus more on relationships than do men, who may focus more on cost, Graham said. Women want someone they can talk with, so if an advisor provides that kind of emotional support, it acts as "glue" with clients, she added.
Graham encouraged advisors to also communicate with clients by writing blogs or newsletters about the issues that truly matter to them. "Communicate with your clients in retirement. They now have the time to read your stuff," she quipped.
Expensive events are unnecessary, Graham maintained. Inviting a group of five or six clients to a museum opening, for example, will cost a lot less and will create a memorable experience.
A "gazillion" brochures aren't necessary either, Graham added. Instead, advisors should focus, sharpen and simplify their messages on their websites and in marketing materials so that they are memorable.
"Have a story on why the other guys aren't as good as you. I would build your story on why not to go to robos, why you are better, and you have to believe it. Even be willing to compete with other RIAs," Graham said. "You've got to be able to look in the mirror and be able to say, 'Why am I better?'"