Davidow: Most clients have become more knowledgeable about the process and more explicit about their issues and that allows work to begin right away. For instance, they might articulate a specific goal that is doable in three to six months. Once that's been accomplished, we'll meet to evaluate the output and if everyone is satisfied, another issue will be put forth. They realize that you can't tackle everything at once.
GROVE: How do you work with financial advisors?
Davidow: Advisors are close to their clients' financial affairs so they often get a front-row seat to the dysfunctional behavior in families. I get a lot of new business referrals from advisors and often act as a resource to wealth management practices and multifamily office operations.
GROVE: How can advisors help ease the burden of strained family relationships among their clientele?
Davidow: The presence of empathy during change is a criterion for getting through it successfully. I've found that the best advisors place an emphasis on establishing rapport with clients, and those existing relationships can provide support during difficult times. Empathy can be given by anyone. It doesn't always require special training.
GROVE: Is compensation as contentious a topic in family-run businesses as it can be in work environments where employees aren't related?
Davidow: Of course, but it's important to know that most pay structures are based on the culture of the family and they tend to fall into one of two categories. The first is a professionally managed approach where employees are paid based on their role and their contribution. The good news is that there are lots of best practices regarding pay for performance. The second situation is one where everybody is paid equally. The mindset is "We're all in this together" and that can create other issues. For example, one family member works harder than the other but they're both getting paid the same. Everyone points to money as the issue, but it's just a presenting problem. The real issue is somewhere else. The real issue is that one person isn't pulling their weight. This type of concern can be addressed by enforcing performance standards for all employees.
GROVE: What is the most surprising thing about what you do?
Davidow: Family dynamics can be complicated and messy but I enjoy what I do. I watch families make a commitment to fix things and the amount of emotional energy and intellectual capital that goes into it is unbelievable. It's humbling and makes me feel privileged. I'm successful because I know what I'm doing. I have great training and experience, but I could not do it without the commitment of the families. The value of the business and the value they place on their family relationships is what drives success. They don't give up.
From Shirtsleeves To Shirtsleeves
Here are a few "foolproof" techniques recommended by Davidow for improving intra-family interactions and increasing the operating success of family-owned businesses.
Create dialogues instead of shutting them down. That may have been the way a patriarch was running the business and the family for years, but that doesn't make it right. Instead of saying, "That's ridiculous, that's wrong!" say, "I'm confused" or "I don't understand" so it creates an opening for a dialogue.