It’s a simple exercise I often include in my Legacy Notebook classes which is designed to help people create an ethical will. It’s a transformative process because as people recall those times, there is a renewed sense of pride, strength and determination that emerges when they put those things into perspective. Furthermore, it allows people to begin to connect both their past personal and work life with the new horizon of retirement, opening the door for positive emotions and can-do attitude.
The second essential lesson in all of this is that people leave us each and every day. Some have lived long lives, while others are taken young and without much warning. No matter the case, relationships with spouses, children, grandchildren, friends and colleagues cannot and should not be taken for granted.
As advisors we often preach the need to save and invest regularly in order to prepare for the future. But what if in the process, a client ends up with their money right but nothing else. I see it all the time. In fact, recently, I was talking with an heir about their inheritance. As part of the introduction, I thought it was important to discuss how I knew his grandfather, the time I spent with him and a few stories from our 15-year relationship.
I kept it short and sweet and was glad I did because when I was done sharing, I was floored when the grandson replied, “Sounds like you knew my grandfather better than me.”
I didn’t have much to say after that but was reminded once again that every saving and investing discussion for retirement should include relationships rather than just money. Moreover, advisors should be making sure that clients are using their resources to strengthen relationships, not put them off or hope things will improve later when they have more time for them because it may end up being too late.
Finally, several years ago I came across an interesting quote by Les Brown that I have continued to use as a way to challenge the status quo of traditional retirement planning. It said:
“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.”
At the time, I lived about a half mile from a cemetery that was positioned along a pathway to our downtown. After reading that, I never walked through there the same. I kept thinking, what secret hopes, desires and dreams lie buried with these folks and how can I make sure that when it’s my time to go, that I don’t go into the grave holding anything back. It’s one reason why I coined the phrase, “No Regrets Retirement” as a means to inspire people to develop a proactive approach to this next phase of life.