4) What would be your guess as to why some people fail at retirement? Knowing how to win at retirement isn’t enough. Advisors and clients also need to know why people fail at it, and the harsh reality is, the main reason isn’t financial. It’s personal. In fact, most human misery is self-inflicted and not economic in nature. Whether its loss of identity, feeling isolated, watching too much TV or drinking every day, raising a client’s awareness around common problems and traps can go a long way in helping them stay happy, healthy and connected.

5) Most people are aware of what they will gain in retirement, but what will you lose? Pushing the conversation a little further, this question helps highlight one of the biggest issues with retirement.  The fact that you lose more than you gain. Yes, clients are looking forward to more freedom and time, but they are losing routine, social interactions, mental stimulus, physical activity and more. All of which need to be replaced with something else or a dark side to retirement can creep in and cause them to regress or fail in their transition.  

The key opportunity here is to not only to have a few pocket questions to ask, but more so, discussion points that help an advisor to carry on conversations with clients that positions them as an expert in more than just the financial aspects of retirement.

That being said, please don’t kid yourself. Five questions aren’t enough, and these can’t be part of a “one and done” type process. Non-financial discussions need to become a natural part of the meeting process each time a client comes in so that you continue to build rapport and deepen the relationship. For many advisors, this is where the so-called soft-side sticks a thorn in their side. They don’t mind getting personal, but they don’t want to become a client’s therapist or counselor.

Thankfully, I totally agree so instead of going back to school for a MSW, I suggest using regular non-financial content to support your efforts to embrace new retirement planning conversations. Now I have been doing this for about 10 years by simply writing a nonfinancial article (about 400 words) on the back side of my monthly newsletter. For example, here’s an excerpt to a story I used a little while back.

“It looks so nice… good call on the new mirrors,” is what I said to my wife. We had recently moved into a new home and one of her first design changes was to remove a long, gaudy mirror in our bathroom. She wanted to replace it with two new ones that were much more her style. 

Then next morning, I grabbed my shaving cream and was set to lather up my face, when I was confronted with an unexpected situation. I couldn’t see my reflection in the mirror. We only had one sink and without giving it much thought, we placed the two new mirrors on either side of it.

I called out to my wife laughing. “You’re not going to believe this,” I said. “We put the mirrors in a place I can’t see to shave.” We both sat there dumbfounded that it didn’t cross our minds when we were hanging the mirrors.

If any of you have taken on a design or remodel project, then you know where this is going. The plan wasn’t to take down the new mirrors and put the ugly one back up. Instead, she wanted a second sink and a new countertop. Like that, we went from a small makeover to a full-blown renovation.

This is important for a couple reasons. First, many people approach retirement like it’s a small makeover when in fact, it’s a major and costly renovation. There are no simple fixes or easy replacements.  Furthermore, it takes time and a lot of effort to make a successful transition…and as many of you know, when it comes to construction, one problem can lead to another causing delays and extra costs. This is exactly what happens to people in retirement…