But when dealing with intellectual competence, consider a geriatric-care manager. "When a financial person senses something's changing, a problem that's not going to be a slam dunk, he or she should bring in a clinical professional," says Claudia Fine, executive vice president and chief professional officer at Senior Bridge, a New York-based care-management company. Clients may need "a clinical evaluation and/or intervention," she argues.
Other times, just having a clinical professional in meetings with your client is valuable.
Other outside experts. Clearly, a team approach is ideal. "Financial advisors simply cannot be great at everything," says Wendy Boglioli, a Seattle-based long-term-care specialist for Genworth Financial.
The team will doubtless include an eldercare attorney to draft key documents. But others are useful, too. "I often have another advisor from my office sit in to make sure we catch everything," confides Andrew Riggle, a financial planner at Hanover, Pa.-based Riggle & Associates. "I position myself as the quarterback or point person who either brings in [other] specialists or coordinates the specialists my client already has."
Organizations such as the Society of Certified Senior Advisors (800-653-1785, www.csa.us) also offer special training. "You can gain valuable insights on working with seniors," says Peter Ross, co-founder and CEO of Senior Helpers, a Towson, Md.-based national provider of care assistance.
Full disclosure. Generally, full disclosure within the family is best. "Some parents tell only their favorite children certain things and keep secrets from the rest. That's when you're going to have a headache," stresses Ellis Liddell, president of ELE Wealth Management in Southfield, Mich.
You want to keep all family members on the same page-literally. "One client has me send a letter every year to his children telling them how much he has given to each ... and what impact these gifts will have when he dies," says Gary Altman, an attorney at Altman & Associates in the Washington, D.C., metro area.
Such transparency "reduces stress," observes Steven Pagartanis, owner and president of Omega Planning in East Setauket, N.Y. "It helps people feel more empowered and have less anxiety."
On the other hand, you can't reveal information without permission. "Each relationship requires and is entitled to client confidentiality," says Mac McGrew, Atlanta-based wealth advisor and senior vice president at The Harrison McGrew Group of Morgan Stanley Smith Barney. "I have an obligation to my firm as well," he adds, noting that certain issues will require management advisement.
Keeping a cool head. Still, all this can become overwhelming for even the most seasoned. "You tell your clients the pros and cons of their choices," says Ronald Duswalt, a Uniondale, N.Y.-based financial planner with Penn Mutual Life Insurance Co. and Hornor, Townsend & Kent, "but you can't make them do the right thing."
If you're worrying too much about your client, that "may be a telltale sign you're beginning to lose objectivity," asserts David Harmon of AXA Advisors in Wellesley, Mass. "Try to remain objective ... and not get pulled into dysfunctional family interactions. ... The last thing you want is to be accused by a disgruntled family member of exerting undue influence."
Some turn to counseling. "There's nothing wrong with professionals seeking advice from other professionals," points out East Providence, R.I.-based Rick Petrucci of Baystate Financial Services.
The alternatives could be disastrous. "The trick is to understand how to prevent yourself from getting overwhelmed," says Debra Kleesattel, Ph.D., director of operations at St. Petersburg, Fla.-based Humana Cares.