The Difference Between Pausing And Doing Nothing
While Drew definitely should take a pause from decision-making, that rest period should be anything but a time of uncomfortably passive nothingness. An advisor focused on the human side of Drew’s transition will instead guide Drew as he works through a purposeful, structured process that gives him the space he needs to FIO, while encouraging him to use tools that will also be helpful with future transitions.
Once Drew realizes that this rest period is actually a mindful, active and meaningful time that will be helpful both short-term and long-term, he can take pride in his perspicacious choice to pause.
Advisors Are Human Too
Michael Karwic is an experienced Certified Financial Planner and Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor. Also a Mastery Level Certified Financial Transitionist with the Sudden Money Institute, Karwic recently shared with other advisors that he still has to “check himself” sometimes when dealing with clients who say one thing one minute, and another the next. The temptation to respond with a frustrated “But you said…” can sometimes be powerful, Karwic admits, but he steels himself to resist. He knows that “But you said…” reactions only make a client feel misunderstood, pressured and defensive.
Like Karwic, we may have to remind ourselves that what the client needs most is someone who understands and responds in accordance with his or her very human experience of transition. We have to choose to “flip the switch” from judgmental comments (like “But last week you said you wanted to…”) to respectful, purposeful questions (like the examples below) that meaningfully engage the person in addressing what he or she is feeling and why.
• “Can you tell me how you’re feeling now?”
• “What feels different for you at this point?”
• “What do you think should happen next?”
By giving the client a necessary break from making any decisions that aren’t urgent, we make time to “go to the balcony” together to get a clearer, more comprehensive view of all the client’s options.